X Men Noir: Touchable
by Scourge The Hedgehog
Summary: Takes place in the Marvel Noir reality, and after the Untouchables film. Elliot Ness finds the body of a businessman in front of his police station. Now he must battle both a former enemy and a new one that's just like his own squad, only deadlier.
1. The Mark shaped like an X

**(Authors' note: I've only watched the film, not the series, of the Untouchables. This story will be told in First Person, switching back between the Point of Views of Elliot Ness and Cyclops, the elader of the Noir X-Men. I'm going to use the film versions of Ness and Stone, though the other two of the crew, as well as some of the minor villians, may either be customized to fit the reality, or OCs in general. So, don't be scared off if the characters/story doesn't follow the "Untouchables" formula or Character archetypes. This is the Marvel Noir Universe, so things may be different here. Also, for those who have not seen the film, this story takes place directly after the film, so there may be slight spoilers. Heed this warning before you read. Thanks.)**

_(Original Comic Cover: Depicts Elliot Ness walking in a rain-lit city street with an illusion of Capone above the scene in a nod to The Amazing Spider-Man, the title and prices above Capone's head.)_

_(Marvel Variant Cover: Depicts the X-Men mark on the neck of an unidentified body, a gun hovering inches away, with the Title and prices appearing above the scene.)_

(Chapter One: 'The Mark Shaped Like an X")

(Narrator: Elliot Ness)

1932...the depths of the Depression...

5:00 P.M. Standard time.

Me and Stone, a partner of mine, are relaxing after we handled the Capone case.

I've been reading the newspapers.

"Ness Catches Capone," "Untouchables come out on Top!"

Fitting name for a squad like us.

The only ones who haven't been corrupted by greed and bribery, and crap like that.

Got contacted by the FBI, they made us an official unit.

Not bad, I guess.

Also been hearing strange rumors, courtesy of Stone...

A man who made some high-tech armor, A man jumping around like a spider catching crooks, Some killer attacking Korean outposts, A bootlegger with claws, a cop whose body's like iron...This world's going to hell.

At that moment, she enters the room.

Her white dress and hat, complete with miniature lotus blossom, hides her face.

She sits down on the chair in front of my desk and plops down a paper, and some golden evelope.

"Mister Ness." She says. "I've heard that you're one of the only honest cops in this town, correct?"

Her accent's shady.

She's tryin' to be British, but I hear South Side in her lips.

But, I'll bite.

"Yeah." Ness replies. "Who wants to know?"

"My name is Marlow Hanson." She says. "I am here on business with my father and his associates. However, there is a man of influence in this area...Calls himself 'Al Cap On,' or something."

I take it back.

Everybody in Chicago knows Al Capone.

If she hasn't even heard of him, she's definitely an out-of-towner.

"Al Capone." Ness replies. "What about him?"

"Him and my father recently met for a business transaction and...well, Father hasn't returned for over three days..." She says.

He probably got whacked.

Capone had a tendency of...offing businessmen who didn't...play by his rules.

But, Capone's in jail...

Who would want to deal with a mob boss with no money?

"So, what do you want me to do?" Ness asks.

At that moment, one of my men rushes in.

He's a rookie, probably won't last the week.

"S-Sir! We got a body in front of the station!"

This is serious!

Myself and the woman bolt out of my office as the office door slams with a "THUD," leaving Stone behind.

We make our way over to the front of station.

There, dead, lies a man in a suit.

He's kinda plump, face down.

His body's a mangled mess.

A hole in his chest the size of a fist, and bullet holes across his neck.

I know one thing right off the bat: This wasn't Capone's M.O.

He's the discreet type, likes to kill secretly, and never got his own hands dirty.

He doesn't announce himself on a scale this public, even when sending a "message."

This was somebody else's handiwork.

The woman who entered my office must know him, for she sinks to her knees, her face in shock.

"Daddy!" She yells. 'Daddy!"

Who could've done this?

A new mob boss who took Capone's place?

Or someone after me, or my family?

"Hey, boss!" The rookie says. "Take a look at this!"

He points to the man's neck.

I kneel and squint.

I cannot believe what I see.

A Mark...shaped like an X.

The X-Men.

I've heard of them.

They seem like your basic hoods at first, suits, tommy guns, hatred of society...

But they have a tendency to beat impossible odds...

...And to perform impossible tasks...Almost as if they have friends from above.

Well, if they have guardian angels, I'll clip their wings.

Looks like another case for the Untouchables.

I hope Stone's got that good luck charm I gave him and lot of bullets handy...He'll be needing both.


	2. Jail House Rock

(Narrator: Scott "Cyclops" Summers)

Standing on the roof of a nearby building, overlooking some crappy excuse for a Jail House.

Guess they decided to keep him in this place for a few days until they transferred him to a real penitentary for eleven years.

Good thing O.N.E. intercepted the force and convince them to leave Capone there for one more day.

My binoculars tell me everything.

Lights are off. Bad move.

Nobody guarding the front door.

It's like they're literally welcoming us in...

This'll be an in-and-out job.

Still, though, I cannot believe Xavier shanghaied us into this place.

Some boss with no money's like a diamond mine, sans the diamonds.

We shouldn't be wasting our time cleaning up some idiot's mess.

How the hell can somebody forget to erase evidence of tax evasion when it's staring them right in the fuckin' face?

Ah, whatever.

No use complaing about it now...

Ororo looks at me knowingly.

Her white mohawk-shaped hair whistles in the wind, hiding her brown face.

She doesn't talk much, but I can already tell she's thinkin' the same thing.

But unlike us, she's got a thief's instincts.

She can wait as long as it damn well takes, the rest of us can't.

Hmm...Makes me think that underneath all of that patience is a 'Storm' waitin' to rage...true to her O.N.E. Alias.

"We simply remove the man, correct?" A voice says.

That voice: Comrade Rasputin, though O.N.E. lists one of his aliases as "Colossus."

We just call him Comrade, easier on the tongue.

Best document forger in the world, so he claims.

You certainly wouldn't think that two tons of heaping Russian muscle would be a literary artist.

Nice to know that the feds are helpless idiots when all they're lookin' at is their number-filled papers.

Makes Banks living treasure troves, plunderable at any time.

And O.N.E. wouldn't give a damn, as long as we wear their leashes in the field.

Sigh...Xavier better be tellin' us everything...

"That's right, Comrade." Cyclops replies. "You don't have to kill unless we need it. But you better not pussy up on me at the last minute, capische?"

"This is pointless, you know." Another voice says. "What Xavier sees in this man is beyond my understanding..."

Kurt Wagner..."The Demon."

O.N.E. Alias: Nightcrawler.

Demon sounds better to me.

I turn to look at him.

He's always been the pessimist.

AND quite the God-fearing man.

Always manages to piss me off one way or another.

That mask of his isn't any help, either.

All I know is his name...won't even show us what he really looks like.

But headache or no, having a self-proclaimed 'world's greatest escape artist' on your side is a valuable asset.

Especially when money talks.

We were promised over half a mil to see Capone's fat tucus back onto it's chair.

"Ok, let's do it." I say to them.

"Got it, Cyclops." Comrade says. "Demon, scout around one last time and be sure."

"Yes...Any sinners down there will soon be entering heaven..." He says as he jumps off of the rooftop.

He ends up by the entrance to the station a two-minute flashy display of acrobatics later.

He waves us in as we get to work.

Comrade, Ororo, and I simply waltz down a ladder that a construction worker let us "borrow."

We run through the night, like rats scrounging for food.

The light hits us as we end up in front of the station.

I nod to Demon as he plucks a bobby pin from his right-hand pocket and jams it into the door.

Two seconds later, the door swings open in the wind.

"Ok." I whisper. "In and out. No distractions. Move!"

The four of us storm the place as I take out my negotiation tools.

Two beautiful Revolvers.

The most effective means of getting your way since the invention of the right hook.

Two officers, half-asleep, wake up to see the four of us inside.

They reach for their guns, until their heads blow up in pools of blood.

Sigh...I love my guns, is all I'll say.

A County Jailhouse isn't that big.

Especially a prisoner-hoarder like this one.

Two blueberries see us from the other side and start chasin' us from the other end of the hallway.

Ororo stops and reverses her destination, lunging towards those two with a blood-curdling scream.

Poor saps.

Aren't gonna know what hit them.

It doesn't take us long to find Capone.

In a cell at the end of one of the oddly identical hallways.

He's sleeping, his prison unform sagging under his body fat.

Yeeach!

"Ok, Comrade." Cyclops says. "Time for a workout."

Comrade nods as I back away.

The cell rods begin to echo with exertion as Comrade pulls them apart.

Yes, he's that strong.

Brains and brawn. Who'dve thunk it?

I can hear whistling and hollering in the distance, the various prisoners convinced that this some sort of jailbreak of something.

Sorry to burst their bubble.

It's annoying, and will also alert the guards.

I'd rather consevre my bullets, if at all possible.

Capone finally stirs as he turns to see the four of us, Ororo back from killing the guards moments after Comrade did his deed.

"W-What the hell?" Capone says.

"Well?" Cyclops yells. "What are you waitin' for, Christmas? Move your ass!"

Capone comes rushing towards us as I nod to Comrade.

Comrade plucks the littke man off of the ground and slings him over his left shoulder.

"Put me down, ya big dope!" Capone yells.

This man was said to be cocky, but he;ll learn his place REAL fast.

I point my right-hand revolver by his face, the nozzle touching the tip of his nose.

He sweats daggers.

"You either shut up and let us help you out..." Cyclops says. "Or those blueberries in there are gonna be chasin' what's left of you down 31st. Understand?"

He nods.

He gets my point.

The four of us, with cargo in tow, make our way to the exit.

We get as far as the entrance, only for a squad of, say, ten guards to intercept us.

You might think i'm bluffing my ass off, but I assure you...We've faced much worse.

I pull out my twin revolvers as Ororo and Demon get into ready stances.

Comrade puts Capone down behind him and turns back to the guards, cracking his knuckles in anticpation.

"Listen up!" Cyclops yells. "For those of you who don't know us, we're the X-Men. That's right. New York's finest."

Two of the guards immediately become nervous as their guns shake cause of the fear.

Good.

At least we aren't strangers here.

"We've got business with Capone here." Cyclops yells. "Now, you've got two choices. You can either be smart and walk away...Or you can have as many holes as a chunk of swiss cheese. So, what's it gonna be?"

One of the nervous guards immediately opens fire as the rest soon follow suit.

Demon and Ororo manage to dodge the bullets through some odd twist of fate.

Comrade pulls me and Capone behind a nearby desk.

"I'll snipe them from here. You secure our prize, understand?' Cyclops asks.

Comrade nods silently as he grabs Capone again.

"What am I? A chunk of meat?" Capone yells.

"No." Comrade says. "However, if you do not be quiet, you shall be crushed goo in my hands. Now brace yourself."

Immediately, Comrade makes a mad dash for a nearby window.

The guards, of course, open fire, as their distraction gives me a chance to snipe a few of them out.

The window shatters instantly as Comrade bursts out of it, only small cuts on his body...

And one very scared piece of shit in his arm.

Comrade runs away near the rendevous point as a number of blueberries take off after him.

Ororo and Demon seem to be making steady progress as the guards' numbers begun to dwindle.

Bullets zoom past my head as I manage to gun one of 'em in the leg.

He turns to shoot at me, only for a knife to go into his chest instead.

Another turns to save his buddy as Demon hops onto the poor sap's head and with a twist of his legs, cracks the kid's neck.

Soon, there's only one guard left.

The one that fired on me earlier.

I step out from behind the desk cover, a mischevious grin on my face.

Ororo and Demon get the idea s the three of us all slowly walk towards him.

The kid desperately turns his gun first towards me, then Ororo, then Demon, the me again.

Eventually, Ororo gets close enough to move in and snap his arm, the gun falling harmlessly to the ground.

"AAA-AAAH!" He screams.

They all do.

The pain forces him to kneel as Ororo forces the lad against the wall.

I step in front of him as he looks up at me.

And for a second, I smell piss.

"Very, very stupid." Cyclops says, as the guard continues to whimper.

I kneel before the kid so that I'm at eye-level with him.

"You tell your friends what you saw here tonight." Cyclops says. "This is only a taste of what The X-Men have planned for this town. Ok, let's wrap it up."

I get up and walk away, as I hear more screaming from the poor kid.

Ororo's having fun with him, Demon I couldn't give two shits.

Sigh...

Xaviers' gonna be one pissed off chrome-dome.

We weren't supposed to draw attention to ourselves.

So much for the in-and-out job.

But we got Capone out.

And, if our employer doesn't prove to be a traitorous piece of crap, we'll be swimming in moolah.

Yep...this definitely beats boosting jewellers on 87th street any day.

(End of Issue #1)


	3. Investigations and Plans

_(Original Comic Cover: Depicts a picture of the photograph taken of the original Untouchables, included the two deceased members killed during the film, cracked slightly. A newspaper article rests at the bottom of the picture whose headline reads "Capone Free! Untouchables Touched?" The title and prices stand above the scene.)_

_(Marvel Variant Cover: Depicts a picture of a photograph of the Noir X-Men consisting of Cyclops in the center aiming a gun at the cameraman. Comrade Rasputin is on the left side cracking his knuckles. Ororo is next to Cyclops with her arms folded, looking away from the cameraman. Kurt "The Demon" Wagner is sitting crouch-legged on top of what appears to a tableset behind the group, with Professor Xavier sitting in his wheelchair in front of Cyclops, his hands folded with an evil grin on his face. The title and prices stand above the scene.)_

(Issue Two : "This is My Turf, Part One")

(Current Narrator: None Applicable)

The scene is pitch black, with nobody and no setting visible, only voices...pitch black darkness.

"Are you sure the ones in question will cooperate?" Voice A says.

"Yes, of course." Voice B says. "They are mine, after all. They will do anything I tell them to."

"Good." Voice A says. "Because how we approach this scenario will determine the extent of influence we will have over our target. You should be aware of the risks."

"Ha, ha. When have I ever not?" Voice B replies with a chuckle.

* * *

(Current Narrator: Eliot Ness)

This is bad.

No, this goes beyond bad.

This is bullshit!

I'm at the County Jail.

Apparently four idiots managed to spring Capone from this place.

They should have taken him directly to the Penetentary!

Looks like Capone's still got people on the outside if he's able to buy his time...

But what I don't get is how twenty guards, fully armed, were killed by four men...Somethin' doesn't add up.

But I might have some clues soon.

The rookie I saw earlier was assigned guard duty here at the House...Apparently he survived.

But he's in so much shock, I'm not sure he'll tell me what I wanna know.

I was right.

He didn't last the week.

I see him, huddled in a police-issue blanket, coffee next to his feet on the gravel steps to the House.

He's rocking back and forth, his face petrified in a state of constant fear.

I'll have to mince my words.

An officer heads towards me and taps my shoulder.

"I'm not sure what went down...but the kid's stiffer than cardboard...You ain't gettin' nothin' outta him."

"I'll risk it."

The officer shakes his head as he walks away.

It's offciers like that that

I sit next to him as his nervous eyes dart in my direction.

Upon seeing me, he relaxes...a bit.

"It...It was terrible, Boss." He says. "Mohawk...!...Blue Mask...! Mohawk! Blue Mask! Mo-"

"Calm down...Mohawk? Blue Mask?" Eliot asks.

"The...The mohawked lady...The masked Man..." He says. "They...They..."

"Relax, take your time." Eliot replies, placing a hand on the Rookie's shoulder. "Let's change the subject. How exactly did things go down?"

"W-Well..." Rookie says. "We were just on duty like usual...I heard odd noises, so I called for back-up. Ten minutes later, you got four bozos with Capone bein' carried. We opened fire, and the next thing you know, we were all slaughtered! Some big Russian fucker grabs Capone and jumps outta the window! You got some brown-suited guy snipin' us out...The Blue Mask and the Mohawk Lady... T-The..."

"What did they do?" Eliot asks, irritably.

He takes off the blanket and lifts his shirt off.

That's when I see it.

Just like Manson's pop...The X-Mark.

There it was...on the Rookie's thigh.

But why was he spared?

To send a message?

"X-Men...X-Men!" Rookie screams, as concerned officers look in our direction.

The X-Men.

Their territory was in New York...Why were they here in Chicago?

And what does Capone have to do with all this?

"Did they say where they were headed?" Eliot asks.

"N-No..." The Rookie replies as he begins moaning nervously.

I pat his back.

"Go and get some rest, kid. You need it. I'll send word to the Chief." Eliot says as he gets up and walks away.

I continue to hear him screaming "X-men" over and over again...Looks luike he won't bbe back on dutuy again.

But, back to business.

Let's look around...see what we can find.

I walk up to the entrance as two officers stop in front of me.

I flash them my badge as the one on the right nods and lets me in.

This place is a wreck.

The smell of death immediately hits me as I cover my nose.

Corpses, all covered in blue uniforms...as far as the eye can see.

I kneel and look at one of the corpses.

Again, the mark.

On this one's neck.

I get up and see Stone looking at what appears to be a hole in the wall.

I walk over to see glass shards as far as the eye can see.

The window directly overlooks 17th Street, about five feet up.

A jump that would injure, if not kill, a normal man.

Whoever the hell jumped out of this window...had a lot of endurance, and a lot of strength.

Stone looks at me silently as we both think the same thing.

These...X-Men...are NOT normal men.

"They found the cell bars to Capone's cell literally bent open, y'know." Stone says. "These fuckers have some pretty slick tricks."

Stone escorts me to the corridors of the Jail House as more corpses line them.

Stone points at one slumped on the wall to the right side.

"This poor guy...Got his throat slit." Stone says. "Who the hell would bring a knife to a gunfight?"

The Rookie said that a Mohawked Lady carved the X-Mark on his hip.

I notice the cuts on the throats, the dried-up blood painting the walls red.

That means that this...Mohawk Lady did these guys in...

These X-Men...They make Capone's men look like priests.

What were these killers after?

* * *

(Current Narrator: Scott "Cyclops" Summers)

Me and the rest of the X-Men stand by the door to the warehouse.

This warehouse is a temporary spare given to us by O.N.E. while we're in Chicago.

The door opens as sunlight fills the room.

Demon puts his hands up to shield his eyes, while the other two stand next to me, watchful.

Capone, now dressed in a purple tommy suit, enters the room as the door slams shut behind him.

He has a stupid grin on his face.

Looks like he's got some news.

"I got boys workin' for me on the outside." Capone says, tugging at the lappels of his collar confidently. "Apparently some moron sat his ass on my chair while I was incarcerated. We're gonna teach 'im a lesson."

"Just tell us where he's at." Cylops says, smoking a cigar.

"Not yet..." Capone says. "We've gotta get him runnin' scared first." Capone says. "Make him sweat a little."

Capone digs into his pocket as Ororo takes a ready stance.

Can never be too safe, y'know?

He takes out a big white paper and sets it on a nearby crate.

The four of us walk over to the paper as Capone points to a place on the paper.

"This is a map of some o' his territories and operations." Capone says. "The way I see it, we attack a few of these, then bust up some of his chums for info."

"Fair enough...but I control the formations." Cyclops says. "My X-Men, my rules. Capische?"

"Whatever." Capone says. "You get rid of this guy, then we can talk business."

"What will you do?" Demon asks. "We do not appreciate dead weight."

"You handle the bullets, I'll handle the deals." Capone says. "Once these territories are gone, we'll ice this guy directly. Now, I've sent some of my boys to meet all of ya at the territories. They'll give ya a hand."

"You better not be settin' us up, Capone." Cyclops says. "It'd be a shame if your freedom was short-lived. A lotta people have tried to dupe us before, and nobody's seen 'em since."

"Please, I'm a businessman." Capone says. "You scratch my back, I scratch yours. And you scratched a big itch last night."

He's actin' grateful.

But I bet in the back of his mind, he's cursing us out for not bein' civil.

But then again, we aren't bein' paid to be civil.

"Believe me, it was a coincidence." Cyclops says. "I'd've rathered you rot there, but our boss wanted you out."

"When am I gonna get to meet the man of honor?" Capone asks.

"You won't be." Comrade says.

"Ah, that can always be discussed." Capone replies as he takes and re-folds the map, handing it to Cyclops, who takes it.

"Ok, X-Men." Cyclops says. "Let's go."

"Ain't ya gonna look at the map?' Capone asks.

"I've already memorized it." Cyclops says, as he and the X-Men walk towards the warehouse door, leaving a stunned Capone looking on.


	4. The Angel, The Afro, and Shaggy

(Current Narrator: Thomas "Angel" Halloway)

Logan never did get around to naming his ship...

He sits next to me, drunk off of his ass, like usual.

Eugene Judd, his First Mate, looks at me knowingly as he hands me the newspaper.

I heard that the X-Men aren't in New York anymore.

As I eye the headline, "The Letter X," I immediately know what's going on.

Theyr'e in Chcago now...It's a good thing we're headed that way anyway.

Because if the X-Men are in town, Then "THEY" are bound to follow...

Looks like the Gem of Cyttorak incident is about to rear it's ugly head once more time.

* * *

(Current Narrator: Eliot Ness)

Sitting in my office, 7:00 Standard time.

I figure I'll continue the investigation tomorrow.

As for the Jail House, I've managed to get the captain to deem it a "No Entry Zone." Only FBI like me and Stone can enter the crime scene.

The Rookie turned in his resignation paper two hours ago.

I knew he'd be gone.

I look at my partner Stone, sittin' on the other side of the room.

"What do you think of these...X-Men?" Ness asks.

"They're cold-blooded killers is what they are." Stone says, looking at me with an unusual tension. "Even Capone's got some self-control...some...fancy, to it. But these guys? Nah. Their pure evil. They slaughtered them jail house cops...for what? If all they wanted to do was spring Capone out, they woulda done it all secret-like."

"Your'e thinkin' in terms of morality." Ness replies, leaning into his desk to look at Stone. "I'm talkin' ethics, goals. Any ideas?"

"Nah." Stone replies. "Who would wanna talk to a boss with no moolah? There's gotta be somethin' to it, somethin' deeper..."

Just then, an officer enters the room...

That's becomin' a habit.

"I've got an "Angel" and a "Captain Logan" to see ya, Mr. Ness." He says.

"What do they want?" Ness asks.

"No clue, sirs." He says. "But they're real insistent-like..."

"Alright, send 'em in." Ness replies as the kid leaves.

I look at Stone as Stone reaches into his shirt, I into my gun holster.

Three people enter the room.

You got a guy in a blue get-up with a red cape and muzzle on his face. I can't really read him well, most likely the brains of the outfit.

Next comes a real shaggy man with odd hair and a drunken stupor. I immediately don't like him.

Finally, an African-American-looking man with a white T-Shirt on, keeping Shaggy standing up. Has honest eyes.

The one in blue moves to stand next to me, while Afro helps Shaggy into the seat near my desk.

Stone keeps a cautious eye on the three.

"Can I...help you, gentlemen?" Ness asks.

"I believe you can, Mr. Ness." The one in blue says. "My real name is unimportant, so just call me Angel."

Angel points to Shaggy and Afro.

"The one drunk off his ass is Captain Logan, and the one helping him up is Eugene Judd, his First Mate." Angel says. "We have reason to believe that the X-Men have arrived here in Chicago."

They know about the X-Men. Maybe this IS going somewhere after all.

"We are..." Afro-I mean, 'Judd,' starts. "...Enemies of theirs. If your'e intending to take them in, we'd like to help, Logan included."

"I have no use for drunkies in my town. I should have you arrested for drinking right now." Ness replies.

Angel puts his hands on my desk and looks at me with fierce eyes.

"You do that, and you'll never catch the X-Men. We may even make sure you lose your job. Now Logan's a mean drunk, but he's kind-hearted. Give him a chance."

"Buuurp..." Logan belches. "He's...He's...He's right, y'know...I still gotta do Cyke in for...For..."

"Don't force it, Cap'n." Judd says.

Logan reaches into his coat and takes out a claw, randomly swiping the air with it.

I take a good look at Logan as it finally clicks.

He's the bootlegger with claws!

"Your'e under-" Ness says as Angel looks at him again.

"Give him a chance." Angel says. "He has a score to settle with the X-Men and he's a good fighter, just like me and Eugene. Besides, I've been doing some snooping around your town and I'm seeing signs that something's about to go down. Isn't that more important than handling basic hoods like Logan?"

Angel's got a good head on his shoulders.

He means well.

So does Judd.

Logan's too drunk for me to read, but he seems the aggressive type.

All in all, though...It's better than nothing.

If their my only link to Capone and the X-Men, I guess I'll have to trust them.

I sigh roughly as I sit back down in my desk.

"Now..." Angel says. "During my investigation, I noticed basic hoods gathering at certain areas and points, all organized, all armed. I think it's the signs of a coming gang war."

"Between who?" Stone asks, speaking up.

"Capone...and Monterrigioni." Angel says.

"Monterrigioni?" Ness asks. "That's a new name."

"He's someone who managed to take over Capone's territories while he was incarcerated." Angel says. "He isn't the brightest, but he has a lot of firepower. Now, I have no doubt that the X-Men will try to get Capone back into power."

"And with the X-Men in Chicago, they'll be at the head of this whole thing." Ness says, sitting up in his chair.

"Exactly." Eugene says, taking his hands off of Logan's shoulders. "And they'll be fightin' on Capone's side."

"Which...Which means the whole thing'll...get real bloody..." Logan says drunkenly.

"...Real fast." Stone says.

"So it's simple." Ness says, staning up in his chair. "We hit both boss's territories before the fighting starts."

"Actually...it gets worse." Angel says. "I managed to track one of Capone's stooges to a bar called 'Little John's.' I managed to find out that the fighting's going to start tonight, courtesey of a bloodied bird, if you know what I mean."

"Let's gather up a police force and attack any territory we see, Capone's or not." Stone says.

"Or..." Eugene says. "We could let them beat each other up."

"Ah, Now I see what your'e saying." Ness says. "If one side is defeated, we can gang up on the winner."

"And with the X-Men here, we already know who'll win." Angel says.

"Our first and foremost duty is to ensure the safety of the people around here." Ness says. "I'll have a few squad cars circle the suburbs and evacuate the citizens around here, then we'll go after the territories with the most heat."

"Why...Why would ya do that?" Logan asks, belching again.

"Because the more heat there is, the higher the chance that an X-Man will leadin' the group." Angel says. "The X-Men are ambitious, so they'll wanna maintain that 'I'm better than all of you' image. Havin' a ton of men protectin' you will definitely do the job."

"Ok, let's move." Ness says. "I want all of the people gone from here by two hours from now. And I want the Captain sober, understand?"

* * *

(Current Narrator: Scott "Cyclops" Summers)

Everything's all ready.

The men are positioned in front of the saloon.

According to Capone, this brothel slash speakeasy was one of his prime money-makers, and also one of the few territories that Monterrigioni couldn't get his hands on.

Inside were courtesans and prostitutes, each of 'em with a 44. caliber hidden underneath their revealin' bras.

Outside? Tommy-suits each with two revolvers like me and a whole lotta attitude.

The other X-Men are in other territories, while I myself was given the brothel.

Maybe once Capone's back in power, me and the boys can come here for a good time.

But enough fantasizin'.

We've got a job to do.

I walk over to one of the courtesans, a blond bitch with a mole atop her mouth.

She blows me a fake kiss as I kiss her hand in response.

I'm quite the charmer, don'tcha know?

"Everything all set, ladies?" Cyclops asks the courtesans, all of whom are wearing various suits and bras of various colors and levels of revealibility.

"Of course, Mr. Cyclops." The blond one says with a South Side accent. "The ladies are all set for some action..."

"Good." Cyclops says as he turns his back to them and walks away. "Don't lose your lives, you clever dames."

I walk over to the front door and open it, as Caoone's suits all turn to look at me.

"Monterrigion's boys are gonna be here any time now!" Cyclops yells. "When ya see 'em, I don't wanna see no gawkin', I wanna see lead bein' thrown. Capische?"

The men all nod in agreement as I step back inside of the brothel.

I move behind the desk where a bartender used to be.

Originally, this place was a bar before the damn Prohibition crap reared it's ugly head.

Now it's a whorehouse, with a secret bar behind the supposedly fake beer cabiniet picture behind the desk.

The ploice force already knew of the bar, but Capone's threw some money their way, and now they keep their lips shut.

Wow...that's the government for ya.

Xavier was right...The government's weaker than the criminals, cause it can be tampered with in any way shape way or form.

It's like putty to be played with by us...the true government of this world.

The criminals.

I hear cars whizzing up to the building.

Here comes Monterrigion's boys.

That's when the music comes to my ears.

The sound of resoundin' bullets, whizzing in and out of the windows.

I duck underneath the bartending desk while the whores scramble for cover.

Most of them find cover...two of 'em don't.

Not a big loss.

As I see enemy tommysuits waltzin' outta the cars, I run over to the edge of the desk and take out my negotiation tools.

Time to have some fun!

* * *

(Current Narrator: None Applicable)

The scene is black and shadowy, nobody can be seen.

Again, merely voices.

"The turf war has begun." Voice A says. "How do you think The Untouchables will react?"

"They shall most likely aid the local citizenry in leaving town for a few days." Voice B says. "They will most likely then head into the fray to calm the war down. Why? Change in plans?"

"No." Voice A says. "However, I want to be absolutely certain that your X-Men are up to the task we provided them. I would rather not have to condition extra soldiers with money we do not currently have...again."

"Of course...After all...That IS what you released me for, isn't it?" Voice B says.

"Yes, it is." Voice A says. "Yes it is..."

(End of Issue #2)

"


	5. Flying Bullets

_(Original Comic Cover: Depicts Eliot Ness, his partner Stone, Thomas "Angel" Halloway, Captain Logan, and Logan's First Mate Eugene Judd all armed and ready for combat, lunging at the reader over a night-filled city background, bullets flying at random places. Ness, Stone, and Judd each have their guns and rifles aimed at the reader, with Ness using a one-handed gun, while Stone and Judd are each wielding rifles. Angel flies through on the left side of the group, lunging a fist. Captain Logan is on the group's right side with his claw weapons bared and a feral look on his face. The Title and Prices are seen above Ness's head.) _

_(Marvel Variant Cover: This cover is shown in a top-down view, with the X-Men looking upwards at the reader with evil smiles while Capone sits in the center, looking at the reader and counting money. Behind all of them is seen a blood stain splattered across the wal in the shape of an "X". The title and prices are shown above the scene.)_

(Issue #3: "This is My Turf, Part Two")

(Current Narrator: Eliot Ness)

My wife looks at me knowingly.

Whenever I come home with somebody behind me, she already knows what's at stake.

Whether it's a sixth sense or a force of habit, I'll never know.

I sit on a chair near the staircase as I hear my little girl's voice from upstairs.

"Mommy...But, why...?"

The other guy, "Angel," he calls himself, looks at me knowingly.

Maybe he's got a family, too...

Not like he'll tell me.

Here comes my wife and child down the steps.

Katherine brings her down, cradled in her arms.

I give my daughter, who's half-asleep, a gentle kiss to her forehead as Angel escorts them out into one of the local police cars outside.

We planned it very carefully.

After the local police force evacuates the people in the area, we'll start hitting all of the major territories closest to Capone's former base of operations, The Lexington Hotel.

Surrounding the Hotel around a four-mile radius are various seedy areas and establishments, each designed primarily for devious and illegal deeds, such as prostitution and bootlegging, his personal favorite crime to commit.

They are conveniently placed in such a way that the illegal liquor, recruiting, and drugs can safely travel and flow without police detection and influence mucking things up.

Slow down the liquor cartels, all of the others slow down, too.

We decided that my personal team consisting of myself, Stone, Angel, and Logan, will hit Little John's while Judd with carry out assistance operations around the other places.

According to some of my men, there's been heavy gunfire being thrown around there for over an hour and a half.

Somebody wants that place all to themselves.

And if WE can take control of it, then nobody's gonna have that place for a long time.

We get info and Capone loses business. It's a win-win.

As the car housing my wife and child drives off, I pray that they'll stay safe.

"They'll be okay, y'know."

I turn to see Angel giving another knowing look.

"I see it in their eyes." Angel says. "They'll be fine. Now come, Mr. Ness. There's work to be done."

Me and Angel get into our own car as I look up to the sky and wonder what the night's gonna bring.

* * *

(Current Narrator: Scott "Cyclops" Summers)

WHIZ, DING, ZIP!

The bullets are still flyin'.

If anything, these guys are persistent.

I move to the top of the desk and fire a bullet into the ehad of one of the nearby snipers.

Headshot, he ain't comin' back from THAT.

An enemy bullet zips past me as I duck back beneath the desk.

All of the whores are down save for two.

One's firin' blindly like an animal, screamin' her heart out...

Big mistake...

"Eat lead, ya jerkoffs!" She yells as a bullet enters her skull.

Oooh...Not smart, toots.

Rule number one about gunfightin': Never break your cover.

Her friend looks on as her corpse falls to the ground, another bullet chinking into her leg, to keep her down.

I ALMOST feel sorry for the poor dames.

Almost.

Only two guys left and this place is secured.

All of Capone's men got themselves "iced," as Bobby would've said if he were here, so it's just me and the whores.

Whoever this other guy is, he's sure got a lotta men.

One of the guys wanders into the entrance as he turns to his buddy.

They know I'm here, but they don't know where.

At that moment, I see a blue blur racing past the entrance door.

One of the guys hears footsteps and turns behind his friend, firin' madly.

The blur expands into my partner Kurt "The Demon" Wagner, who jumps from the ceiling and snaps the neck of one of the guys with his legs, like at the Jail House.

I immediately come out of my hiding place and snipe the other guy out, just as his tommy gun faces Demon's face.

I clamber out of my hiding place soon after, completely ignoring the scared whore underneath the other table she was using as cover.

I've bigger things to worry about than some stupid bitch.

"Thank you for the save." Demon says. "But we have problems."

"What kind of problems?" Cyclops asks, as he puts his two revolvers away.

"The police force is clambered around Little John's." Demon says as he balances on the edge of the upturned table the whore is using. "Comrade is barely holding his own, even with Ororo's support. They sent me to fetch you."

"Then let's get down there." Cyclops says with a nod.

"Also, there's something else..." Demon says hesitantly. "Maybe I shouldn't say so soon..."

"What?" Cyclops asks as he crosses his arms in a listening stance.

"Sigh...An old enemy of yours is at that bar, fighting for the police...Shaggy hair, claws, drunken stench...I believe he is the one who took your eye, dear Cyclops." Demon says as he hops down off of the table.

"Logan's there?" Cyclops yells as he turns to a table and kicks it down in a fit of rage. "That fucking bastard! That means Angel must've sprung him and Judd outta Genosha!" Cyclops asks. "Shit! C'mon!"

"What about her?" Demon asks, poiting to the whore who is now situated in the corner, moaning nervously. "Should we not erase the evidence?"

"Fuck her! We've got bigger problems!" Cyclops yells as he and Demon leave the establishment, and the crying whore, alone.

Me and Demon get into one of the cars Capone's men were using.

If Angel's there, then that means that he'll be after Xavier.

If he gets Xavier, we lose not only our leader and friend...but we also lose the money Xavier promised us for this job.

We can't let any of that happen!

* * *

(Current Narrator: Eliot Ness)

Me and Stone, along with the other three appear at Little John's ten minutes after we leave my house.

The place is a battleground.

Capone's men are simply pouring into the bar as me and Angel look at each other knowingly.

War never changes...

Instead of a direct approach, we figure we'd sneak in from the back.

We duck into the alley nearby the bar as we try to go in through a back entrance while Angel takes to the rooftops to scout out the battlefield.

If we go after all of those goons at once, we're swiss cheese.

And I'm sure Katherine wants me home for supper ALIVE.

Three tommysuited mobsters, both with rifles, point their guns at us as soon as we find the back door to the bar.

Great...We draw our guns, we're dead.

We don't, we're still dead.

Captain Logan give one of them a mean growl.

"Ya think them pea-shooters are gonna save ya from me?" Logan asks, as he moves his head closer to the nozzle of one of the guns. "Shoot, ya fucker, shoot!"

Just as the mobster's finger teaches for the trigger, he is knocked to the ground by a blue blur.

As his partner turns to see what's going on, Logan rushes at the other goon, his claws bared.

His claws sink into the goon's body as he falls to the ground, Logan along with him, with a stifled scream.

As Logan gets himself back up, I see Angel standing in front of us.

"That what you get for not using your'e brains." Angel says sternly. "You have to look from all sides. Just rushing in, even from a secret entrance, is a fast way to be filled full of holes. Mobsters are greedy, but not stupid."

"Ah, big whoop." Logan says, wiping spittle from his mouth with his rifght hand. "Their dead. That's all that matters."

At that moment, we hear a loud, savage scream coming from the other end of the alley.

"The hell?" Logan asks.

"There's a shootout on the other side of the alley." Angel says. "And I'd like Logan to stay here and guard our only escape point. If we have need of it, I have a way we can get to the roof."

"Nah!" Logan says, swiping his claws in excitement. "I'm helpin' ya take these goons down. Now...CHARGE!"

"Logan, wait!" Angel yells as Logan recklessly runs over to the fray.

"Why shouldn't he go after those goons?" Judd asks, putting his hands on his hips in frustration. "We should be helping him!"

"He's right." Stone says. "Why are we standin' here? Let's go kick some ass!"

Rather than find out what Angel's hiding, I figured I'd help my team first.

Angel and I rush towards the fray as we leave the alley and duck under a nearby crate, where Logan, Judd , and Stone are.

I can hear the resounding bullets richocheting and screams of men dying.

This is why I became a cop...so I wouldn't hear this anymore.

Ever since organized crime took it's roots in Chicago, it's all I hear.

Even when I'm talking with my wife or listening to a radio, the sounds in my mind are the same as tonight...And it's even more tragic when I know it's coming.

"Damn it, I knew it was him!" Logan shouts.

I turn to face Logan, whose face of bravado is gone.

Now, he's all seriousness and logic, as his panting breaths reveal his desperation and anger.

"Who?" Ness shouts as he draws his gun and fires a shot into the distance, then returns to his position.

"Cyke!" Logan yells over the sound of the bullets.

Judd fires a shot as a man's cry is heard.

He then turns to face me and Logan.

"They were in love with this one dame named Jean Grey, and they ended up fightin' over her, Logan scratching Cyclops's eye out in the process!" Judd yells. "That's why we're here! If we track down the X-Men, we track Cyclops down!"

Now it all makes sense!

This Cyclops he's talking about!

He must be the leader of the X-Men!

And if Cyclops is here, then...

"How many more of them are there?" Ness asks Angel, who is keeping an eye on the shootout in the distance.

"Four of the other guy's men, four of Capone's men, and four others I can't make out." Angel says as he crouches back next to Ness.

"Those four must be the X-Men!" Logan shouts. "They're a tight knit group, when they ain't betrayin' other people! If Capone thinks he's got their loyalty, he's a sap!"

"Well, then..." Ness yells as a bullet whizzes past his head. "Why go after the pawns when we can head straight for the king? You know what I mean?"

"I read ya loud and clear, Nessie boy!" Logan replies as he breaks his cover and runs away, towards the enemies.

"Sigh..." Angel sighs as he breaks cover as well and runs after Logan.

"Go ahead, I'll cover you guys!" Ness yells as he reloads his gun';s bullets with a flick of his wrist as the gun makes a cocking sound.

Judd and Stone also follow suit, leaving me all by himself.

If they're all runnin' over there, it must be somewhat safe.

It doesn't matter, though...Capone's men can wait.

These X-Men have to be put down first.

I break cover as well and start firing at any tommy-suit I see.

The way I see it, they're all enemies.

Capone's men, Monterrigioni's men, the X-Men...

To me, it's all the same.

Street trash.

While the other three rush towards what I'm hoping is the X-Men. I fire at two suits that are holded up ina nearby crate.

One of them dodges my bullet and responds in kind.

I dive into nearby cover as the bullet he fires goes past my leg, ripping a small portion of my leg-cuff in the process.

Eh, whatever.

I step out of cover, then back in, to draw their fire.

After I execute this feint, the two I was firin' at yell in pain as I see blood trickle onto the crate they were usin.

After I hear a brief pant, I realize that Logan must've killed them.

The guy's mean, drunk or not.

But at least he got the job done.

I hear more screams as the others wave their arms soon after.

They certainly are efficient...

As long as killing isn't the only thing they're good at.

But wait, I know Judd andf Angel took those guys out, but where's Stone?

That's when I hear it.

A gunshot.

A VERY loud one.

And for some reason, whenever I hear a gunshot this loud, I know it's important.

I immediately run from my cover, ignoring any tommysuits, any allies, any enemies.

And that's when I see him.

I see Stone, on his kness, a blank look on his face.

I look to the ground underneath him to see blood.

No! I run towards him and catch his body before it falls.

It falls in my arms like a limp spaghetti noodle.

Stone looks at me with a "Why?" look.

"Stone..." Ness says as he look at his partner, a tear streaming down his cheeks.

As the others rush towards me, I look up to see who shot him.

And there he was.

In a brown tommysuit...Red glasses.

To his left, a massive musclebound man, black tussled hair visible to the naked eye.

To his right, a woman with white mohawk hair, her hair whistling in an oddly short wind.

On top of a crate nearby, a man in a blue devil mask staring me down with oddly icy eyes.

The X-Men...

"Well, hey there." The man in the brown suit says as an evil grin escapes his mouth, his gun still pointed at Ness. "Name's Cyclops. Nice to meet ya."


	6. The Touchable

(Current Narrator: Eliot Ness)

No! No! No!

Thsi wasn't supposed to happen!

This was a routine job!

Go and stop the turf war, defeat the X-Men, and then go home happy!

Now how can I be happy when my partner's layin' in my freakin' arms dying of a gunshot wound?

"Cyke, ya fuckin' bastard!" Captain Logan yells as he moves nearby Ness. "It ain't enough that ya gotta spring Capone, but now ya gotta start killin' rookie coppers, too? Ain't you got even a conscience?"

"Since when do I need one of those?" Cyclops replies as he shift's his gun's aim from Ness to Logan. "All i'm after is the money. The way I see it is: Ya gotta crack a few eggs to make an omelet. So I cracked one. Not like you've done any better."

Logan growls evilly as I continue to stare at Stone.

He looks at me sadly, his breathing becoming erratic from the wound.

I...I never thought I'd live this scene over again.

* * *

**(Film Spoilers ahead!)**

(Current Narrator: None Applicable)

_Ness is seen, standing over his dying partner._

_Malone's breathing is erratic, due to the wounds inflicted by Nitti's gun ambush._

_His corpse is bloodied horribly, riddled with random gunshots wounds and bullet holes as a streak of blood from where he crawled to this room is seen trailing out of the door._

_He won't be coming out of it._

_And both him and Ness knows it._

_But Ness doesn't want to believe it._

_Malone is seen reaching for a golden document frantically._

_"This? You want this?" Ness asks as he reaches over to the document and places it into Malone's hands._

_"Bookkeeper..." Malone ekes out._

_"The bookkeeper...?" Ness asks nervously as he opens the document and looks at it._

_This was the location of Capone's bookkeeper slash record-holder, their last hope at putting Capone away._

_"The Bookkeeper...He's on this train?" Ness asks._

_"Yes..." Malone breathes out._

_"On this train?" Ness repeats nervously._

_"Now...What are ye prepared ta do?" Malone asks as he gently pulls Ness's face towards his own, his breathing slowing._

_Malone, with his last ebb of life, reaches and grabs his charm, his good luck charm that he had been keeping for eleven years, as he slips the pendant into Ness's right hand._

_"No, Malone...No!" Ness repeats even more frantically, as if calling out at random. "Stay! Stay! STAY! Malone..."_

_Ness begins to sob quietly as Malone finally passes on, his eyes closing permanently as Ness kneels over his broken corpse._

_"Not this man..." Ness says as he sits up off of the floor, staring the corpse down with sadness evident in his very eyes._

_"...Not this man..."_

_

* * *

_

(Current Narrator: Eliot Ness)

I never thought I'd be in this situation with Stone of all people.

"N-Ness..." Stone breathes out.

He reaches into his pocket with his only working arm.

Then I see it.

Malone's charm.

I remember when Malone had given to me on the day he'd died, and then when I had given to Stone because I thought he'd need it more.

I can't accept this.

If Stone dies here...I'll be the last of The Untoucbales.

I'll be fighting Capone and all of these scumbags all by myself.

Stone was a good kid.

A little rough around the edges, but he was a freakin' diamond.

He doesn't deserve to die by some hood's gun.

Not again!

I won't allow another Malone!

I push Stone's hand away gently.

"A...A cop needs this, remember?" Ness says, as if to comfort the dying Stone.

"Your'e a cop too, Ness." Stone says as Ness sees Judd rushing over to the group.

Judd initially rushes towards the two of us, but Captain Logan ushers him back.

"Nah." Ness says. "I'm just a suit with a gun. Your'e the cop!"

"Heh." Stone chuckles as his eyes begin to slowly close. "Ya always were a hard one to convince, boss..."

"Stone!" Ness yells. "Stone, stay with me here!"

"I'm goin' off-duty now..." Stone says wearily. "I'm goin' home, Mr. Ness...I'm goin home..."

Stone breathes a final breath as he passes on, his corpse going limp in my arms.

It was over.

Now I'm the last Untouchable.

The brown-suited hood in front of me gives me a stereotypical smirk.

"Well, well." Cyclops says as he cocks his gun once. "Not so Touchable after all, was he? Oh, well. Too bad, so sad."

My eyes go blurry as the tears start clouding my vision.

But at that moment, I feel a rough hand shaking my right shoulder.

As I look up from my pathetic kneeled state, getting up in the process, I see Angel giving me a stern look.

"Now's not the time for tears." Angel says to Ness. "We have a job to do."

He's right. Blubbering like a baby in the face of the enemy isn't the way to honor Stone's memory.

I'll do right by him and Malone.

I'll do my job.

The X-Men get into ready positions as I see the look on their faces.

Pure...Not evil, but desperation

The leader has his eyes hidden by his red shades, but even I can see that he's just after the money.

The muscled man is hesitant to fight, as if he hates violence, even if his cracking knuckles betray that fact.

The mohawk woman is the only real killer of the group, a thief, she does what she does best.

The masked man I can't even read.

These kids were no older than 20, maybe thirty, at the most.

According to my sources, the X-Men were lead by the notorious psychatrist Charles Xavier, who believed that Sociopathy was Humanity's next evolutionary step. However, he was detained by the F.B.I. for being the masterind behind a murder scheme, and now sits in Genosha Prison in New York.

He took those kids in and taught them how to be criminals, how to hate society.

And if his students are here, then this goes as low as Capone, and as high as Xavier.

As to how, I have no clue.

Though I can hazard a guess.

Captain Logan nods at me briefly as he turns back to Cyclops.

"Now I'm gonna gut the other eye out, Cyke!" Logan yells as he rushes towards Cyclops with a bloodlust-filled scream.

Just as he gets near Cyclops, who turns his gun at Logan, the muscleman throws a punch that send Logan flying a full foot away from the rest of us...and directly into a nearby wall.

Judd and I move behind the crates as Cyclops begins to open fire upon us.

I hear a car whizzing by as I look from behind my cover crate.

The Masked Man and Mohawk Woman leave the fray and head for the car.

Cyclops fires a round in my direction as he turns to face the fleeing two.

"What are you two doin'?" Cyclops yells. "Get over here!"

The Masked Man rushes towards Cyclops and balances on one of the nearby crates.

"We must leave this area!" Demon yells. "Our forces have amassed near the Lexington. Monterrigioni is defenseless! Capone's hitched us a ride, but we must leave quickly!"

"Alrighty, then!" Cyclops yells. "X-Men! To the Lexington!"

The muscle man, who I see trying to punch Angel, changes his tactics and picks Angel up by his left leg.

He swings Angel around once and throws him onto the fround, where he lands beside an unconcious Logan.

The four run as I break my cover and run after them.

Cyclops turns to face me and fires warning shots.

I ignore the whizzing bullets as I fire in his direction.

Cyclops and the two spindly ones get into the car as I feel myself being knocked aside.

The muscle man gets into the car as it drives away in a hurry.

Judd runs towards the end of the street and fires shots at it's tires, but to no avail.

The car's screeching becomes fainter and fainter as Judd stops shooting.

I pick myself up off of the ground as I see Angel and a now reawakened Logan regrouping with me and Judd.

"Oh, wow..." Logan says as he cracks his neck. "Been a while since I got my ass handed to me...Not fun."

"I heard the X-Men mentioning something about a 'Lexington?'" Angel says.

"The Lexington Hotel." Ness says as he looks at Angel and Logan. "Capone's former base of operations. I guess somebody else is using it now..."

"But with the X-Men on the loose, not for very long." Logan says. "We've gotta get there!"

"What about him?" Judd asks as he points at Stone's corpse. "We can't just leave 'im like that."

I look at Stone's corpse as I remember Malone laying in a similar position.

To think I'm the last one...

No, this isn't like me.

The X-Men are our priority right now.

If Malone and Stone were alive, I'm sure they'd rather me go after Capone and the X-Men instead of weeping wasted tears over their bodies.

I could cry, wish for them to come back.

Pray for them to come back.

But there'd be no point.

After all, dead men tell no tales...and give no advice.

"He died a cop's death." Ness says finally after looking at the corpse. "Let him keep his dignity. Besides, I doubt he'd like bein' buried. Now, there's a pay phone nearby. I can hitch us a ride to the hotel."

I'll avenge you guys.

And Malone...I'm prepared to do WHATEVER needs doing.


End file.
